


The Nightmare Ends

by Old deeplyshallow (deeplyshallow)



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M, fuck the failnale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:55:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27154825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeplyshallow/pseuds/Old%20deeplyshallow
Summary: Robin tells Barney about her weird dream where they divorce, he has a baby and she ends up with Ted. He tells her not to be so silly.
Relationships: Robin Scherbatsky/Barney Stinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 41





	The Nightmare Ends

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published on fanfiction.net: 2/4/14

Robin wakes up with a jolt.

She sits up in the bed, startling her new husband beside her into awareness too.

She looks around disorientated, until she turns to face him. His eyes slide over her body, appreciating the view now the blanket has slid down to her waist, but as soon as he has regained enough consciousness to notice her heavy breathing and the panicked look in her eyes he immediately turns serious.

"Robin, what's the matter?"

She looks away, embarrassed, "Bad dream, don't worry about it, it's stupid."

That immediately gets his attention, he sits up beside her, grasps her left hand, his fingers automatically touching her engagement ring and the matching gold band that he's sort of got addicted to the feel of in the recent days, "Robin, tell me, please."

"I just... well we don't end up working. We try and we fail, we break up because I want to travel for my job and you miss New York and..." she continues to recount her dream, a few times Barney wants to interrupt her, but he lets her speak, sensing her need to let it all out before he passes comment.

When she's finally finished, he looks at her gently and shakes his head, "Robin, that is the silliest dream to ever invade your mind," he considers, "no actually, probably only the second silliest, there's still that one you told me about where Ted looked better in a suit than me."

She smiles a little, but there's still concern in her features.

"Firstly, Ted? Really Robin? You are going to leave me and get back with Ted? Because you have told me all about your sex life with him and frankly I think you might just die of boredom."

"I have never told you about my sex life with Ted."

"Eh, you highly implied it. You like your men well dressed and blonde, who bother to go to the gym and are actually open to getting dirty, Ted was never going to be enough to fulfil you. Plus I was over at yours a good few nights you were doing it, you really need to improve on your fake orgasm noises," he pauses for a moment, thoughtful, "well actually, you don't, now you'll be banging me for the rest of your life." He puts his hand up for a high five, she rolls her eyes but obliges.

"Also, a baby? I mean they're cute and everything, but seriously, way too much work. I've no intention of getting some random skank pregnant so I have to stay up all night and touch poop. Also, little Barney always suits up before sex, you know this, you experience at least twice a night."

"Condoms aren't 100 percent effective..."

"You know what is 100 percent effective against getting random skanks pregnant? Not sleeping with them because I've got you (who's like 83 times hotter) instead, that's what that ring on your finger means."

"But we weren't married, we divorced."

Barney makes a face, "Come on Scherbatsky..."

"Stinson." She corrects with a smile.

He beams at her, "...Stinson, I wouldn't let you go as easily as that. Depriving you of my awesomeness would simply be cruel."

"A fate worse than death," she says dryly.

"Precisely," he replies completely seriously, "I'd make sure you remembered just how awesome – awesome squared, we are together, which brings me to my next point... what is this about you not dressing up for Halloween? Halloween costumes were part of the deal when I put that ring on your finger... damn I knew I missed something in my vows. Anyway, when you go this year as a sexy Robin Sparkles..."

"No."

"Fine, when I'm Hans Solo and you're a sexy Princess Leia."

"Again, no."

"Oh come on, you'd look so hot in a golden bra..."

She can't help but chuckle at his enthusiasm, "Maybe in bed afterwards, baby."

" _Best_ wife ever!"

She shakes her head, smiling, "You're an idiot."

He owns up to it, "I'm your idiot."

"Yeah you are."

He smiles at her, "and I will be, wherever we go, for the rest of our lives."

By the way she suddenly looks down he can see this is one of her main causes of concern, "about the travelling..."

"Robin, travelling abroad with you is going to be awesome, I already have a list of the top 50 famous buildings we need to bang in."

"It's just," she fiddles with the sheets, "you've always liked New York, and I mean, if I got a job as a foreign correspondent, you'd end up travelling with me and... wouldn't you miss it?"

He looks at her, "Well New York's awesome, duh, but it's not like we'll never see it again. Marshall and Lily will drag us to thanksgiving every year and we're never going to miss out the awesomeness that is Robots Vs. Wrestlers. Plus, GNB has international offices everywhere so I'll have work. I mean the USA is the best nation on the planet but other countries are cool too, even Canada has a few good points, and Belize has been great so far."

"We haven't left the hotel room."

"Well, we had more important things to do. And tell me they haven't been great. You didn't seem to be complaining three hours ago, when you were handcuffed to the headboard."

Her smile is wide now, the dream is already fading, any worries it caused gone, "They've been legendary."

"Exactly, and if you're worried about that, we can go exploring right now, I mean it's still dark but there are stars and a beach and..."

But Robin's not listening to him anymore, instead she's looking at him though her eyelashes, "Or..." she says, "or..." and then she lunges for him.

He reacts immediately, deepening the kiss, his hands everywhere at once. He moves his mouth to her neck, sucks hard at the spots he knows are her most sensitive, watches as she moans and writhes beneath him.

He breaks apart from her for a second, looks down at her with the smirk she loves so much painting his face, "See, I bet Ted wouldn't be able to do that to you, especially when he's 50 and probably has erectile dysfunction..."

"Barney," she says, still panting, "shut up," he obliges and they put their mouths to much better use.

By the time they're finished the dream, along with her fears, have been completely forgotten.


End file.
